Get comfortable being uncomfortable
Being comfortable with things in life feels good. There’s no stress, you have a secure job, home life is alright. When it comes to your health you may eat pretty poorly or not exercise much, but it’s easier this way. You know this way. You feel confident living like this. Knowing how to do everything at work, not finding exercise or eating well hard and restrictive. Comfortable is easy. The only thing with being comfortable is you don’t grow, you don’t take risks or try new things. You rarely learn or develop as a human and you can often feel unfulfilled.
When something has been hard, has it always worked out to be amazing once it was finished? Think of it like building your own house. We all know that would be a hard, lengthy ordeal. But living in a dream home you created? Absolutely worth it. Life can be like that.
Let’s use the old job as an example for development. Do you actually like it as a career or are you just comfortable there? Do you like going to work knowing everything and not being the newbie? Yeah it feels good hey, I agree. But if this isn’t the career you want and you know how to do everything, what are you learning? How are you developing yourself? You spend at least 70% of your week at work. You should, at the very least be happy there and growing and learning.
I used to work in a job in State Government. It was a decent enough job, I had friends, it paid well, it was flexible and I knew it inside and out. It wasn’t overly exciting and I didn’t dive out of bed every day but it wasn’t bad. Then an old mentor of mine said this to me:
“What’s worse than hating your job, is not minding it. If you don’t mind it, you’ll never leave even though you would probably be happier doing something else.”
Well, fuck me sideways, doesn’t that make you think? The longer I had that ringing in my head, the more I started to resent my job and wonder what else I could be doing with my life. It was about six months later that I quit the corporate life to work in a private strength and conditioning gym.
People thought I was mad. How could I leave the security of a nice, safe Government job? How could I take a pay cut of $900 a fortnight? Because my happiness and growth was more important than money.
Yes it was hard, it was a massive life change, but you know what? Working in that gym for the years following were some of the happiest, most educational years of my life. I wouldn’t be who I am without those years. I wouldn’t know half the things I do about the human body, running a small business, communicating with humans and how to work on myself. If I had of stayed stagnant in the ‘safe’, okay job, I never would have gained this awesome knowledge.
You want to know something funny? After everyone telling me I shouldn’t have left the Government job, I later got hired by a university to work in a position that was far better than the Government job ever was. My hiring manager chose me because he liked that I had the gym experience. It was different to everyone else who had only worked office jobs. I came out number one out of 167 applicants for the new role. Being uncomfortable worked out for the fucking best in this circumstance. The initial discomfort of taking a massive pay cut, working weird hours and not having the comfort of a safe office job was 100% worth it.
What about arguments in relationships as an example of uncomfortable situations? Obviously fighting all the time over petty shit is unhealthy, but a few arguments or disagreements can be good.
Why though Helena, you dramatic biatch?! Because once it’s over, given that you’ve discussed the argument rationally and worked through it, you will have learnt more about your partner. You will have developed your relationship a little more. Now you’re like ‘Oh shit, Sally actually hates it when I don’t reply because she is worried something bad has happened, it isn’t because she doesn’t trust me’. Now you can kiss and make up and maybe get lucky tonight. Good for you. Was the initial chat uncomfortable? Probably. Is your relationship a wee bit better now? Definitely. A minor example, but I’ll bet you can think of a time something similar has happened, with a partner or friend and your relationship worked out stronger after sorting it out.
What about exercise or eating healthier? That shit requires change, learning and some uncomfortableness. It isn’t easy to start eating healthier and exercising. You’ll be the newbie in the gym, you might have to count calories, you’ll need to develop new eating habits and spend money. Exercising when you’re not fit bloody hurts, hell even when you are fit it hurts.
Will this (great) life change suck for a bit? Yep. Should you accept this uncomfortableness and the huge, beneficial learning curve for the sake of your health and happiness? Yes. Six months down the track, are you going to be more energised, look better, feel better and have a healthier body for years to come? 10,000 yes’s.
We can also consider things like going to therapy. I see a fantastic therapist and it’s not easy, in fact, it’s pretty damn hard bringing up past traumas, but the uncomfortableness makes me a better person, a better partner and a better friend.
Learning new things or putting yourself into awkward or uncomfortable situations can bring up feelings of insecurity or even stress. Going to a social event knowing no one, exercising with people fitter than you, travelling or changing your career is not easy. But when have you ever learnt or grown from something easy? People make dumb mistakes or make awesome life changing decisions and you learn from both.
Do you think all the greatest minds, happiest or most successful people aren’t out there constantly learning and growing at every opportunity? Hells yeah they are. If you’re not growing you’re dying, so get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Yours in motivational blogs,
Helena